I know that you know that Valentine’s Day is just a commercial holiday.

You’re an intelligent person.

You don’t need some random blogger to give you a patronizing virtual hug of a reminder that February 14th is just another day.

Because that’s bullsh#t.

Regardless of the fact that V-day’s twisted roots are tangled under a five-story building in Kansas City (Hallmark Headquarters), this day sure has a way of making single people feel like crap.

All around you, couples are proclaiming their love in the streets and on social media.

Through perfect photos and public declarations of adoration, these twosomes do what it takes to make it clear that they are in love. On Valentine’s Day.

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Congratulations?

Don’t get me wrong. Love is awesome. Love is beautiful. Love makes the world go ’round. My beef isn’t with love.

My beef is with the idea that somehow a person’s worth is determined by their relationship status.

Our culture seems to have this belief that if you are in a relationship, it means someone, somewhere has deemed you worthy of their commitment and that makes you valuable.

On the flip side, we portray single people as if they are standing in a line-up, wide-eyed, just waiting to be chosen. Pick me, pick me.

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Here’s a truth bomb for you: ANYONE CAN GET A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND. 

Literally anyone… regardless of looks, personality, money, talent, morals, or achievements. There are people out there who so fear being alone that their codependency permits them to settle for a partner who isn’t right.

Yet we still celebrate these people like hey, at least you’re not alone.

What the heck? It’s all so backwards.

Do you know who we should be celebrating?
The rare bird of a human who sees his or her own worth and realizes that finding the right match will take time.

This confident soul who refuses to settle for mediocre love deserves a gold star not only for their patience, but also for enduring unwarranted pity from those who think being single is some sort of sad state of being.

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Here’s a metaphor for you: It’s dinner time and you are hungry.

You have a couple of options:
You can cruise over to the closest fast-food restaurant, pull up to a speaker, order a #2, eat it on the way home, and be done with it.

OR

You can go to the grocery store, pick out a nice marbled rib-eye, some fresh veggies, go home, fire up the grill, and make yourself an amazing dinner.

Good things come to those who wait.

To all of the single people out there: I don’t care if you are 58, 25, or 33; you are not settling and that is awesome.

I have spent most of my life single.

I have been told I am too picky.

I have had people set me up against my will.

I have had friends gingerly place a hand on my shoulder, look me in the eyes and tell me, with a shade of doubt on their face, “You’ll find the right guy… someday.” Good times.

I wasn’t desperate, I was waiting.  I wasn’t picky, I just wouldn’t settle.

Most importantly, I wasn’t a sad version of myself.  Single me and Married me are the same person.

You are you. Whether you check the box for Single, Married, Divorced, or Widowed, you are you.

Your humanity and worth have nothing to do with your relationship status. Don’t let a calendar or a well-meaning idiot let you think otherwise.

Happy Valentine’s Day, you beautiful person.


Nicole is a food loving, champagne sipping wellness writer living in rural northern California.
Mom of two little girls and two bonus stepkids, she can be found re-microwaving her coffee and overseeing Pinterest crafts gone wrong.In her spare self-care time, she enjoys live concerts, spontaneous living room dance parties, reading Oprah’s pick of the month, and eating food she didn’t cook.
Nicole runs The Wildheart Blog and can be contacted on Twitter @HiWildheartBlog
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